Today I was home all day! just missed everything! didn't do, My life just stopped for sometime... didn't know what to do. I had no mood, I understood that people don't like when you kind to'em. I understood that girls like when you're rude to'em, they really like bad boys or sometimes they love you for things that you have not you! so now I'm just broke, and financial and My mood. I said bye girl! I don't give a damn bout you!
it is hard but gotta be strong, if I won't I'm gonna get stressed and just lose Myself!
so I decided to do like writer, management consultant, and self-described social ecologist :) , Peter F. Drucker said -
"The best way to predict the future is to create it" so I'm gonna do it!
I always believed it and sometimes I did it really, so after this quote, (I read it on some dude's T-Shirt) My belief became more stronger! so gonna be alright! I'm gonna create it... no more sorrow, sorry girl I already said what I wanted to. so here's My nearest future plans, study this summer, save money, till the end of fall I'll move to another state where I start Big Beginnings! bout My love, she' gonna be Mine! I don't need girl except her, she' far right now, but I better stay true to her, even though she's not Mine officially and this one who needs only money or cars, sorry I don't need that! ;) gonna be alright, create it!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Changes...
everything is changing right now, too many deeds waiting for Me.
I know here' lot of problems but, I'm not complaining cuz we have to have it in order to make a changes...
coming soon... ;)
I know here' lot of problems but, I'm not complaining cuz we have to have it in order to make a changes...
coming soon... ;)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
new steps and new hopes
I realized, I'm starting to lose My dream
getting too into this real, and I feel, I can fail
if I'll cantinue this way, everyday waking up asking god to make my day.
Time stop to think and time for act, if failed don't overreact
probably you'll fail your 1st step it's fact!
f*ck the people who judge you, they're nobody for you
Do whatever you want to, but be sure that it's right before you do.
I'm starting new life, moving from this place soon
leaving past behind Me, no more dooms
My friends and family gives Me new hope
God gives Me belief and I'm person who have to act and I know I can cope
new state, new life, new fresh mind
everything goin be fine, this world is Mine
soon you'll see, just wait for Me... ;)
getting too into this real, and I feel, I can fail
if I'll cantinue this way, everyday waking up asking god to make my day.
Time stop to think and time for act, if failed don't overreact
probably you'll fail your 1st step it's fact!
f*ck the people who judge you, they're nobody for you
Do whatever you want to, but be sure that it's right before you do.
I'm starting new life, moving from this place soon
leaving past behind Me, no more dooms
My friends and family gives Me new hope
God gives Me belief and I'm person who have to act and I know I can cope
new state, new life, new fresh mind
everything goin be fine, this world is Mine
soon you'll see, just wait for Me... ;)
Monday, May 4, 2009
Who am I?
Alright last time I was almost out of My apt. now I found but only for 1 month, so I'm looking for another but, this post won't be about it, yesterday I was going to My home, I was very tired, day was long and hard, I was walking along Key bridge above Potomac river, earphone in My ear and listening to music and song was good and it made Me think about Life, I asked Myself - Who Am I? what do I have to do in this life? what is My mission? I know that God gave Me unlimited dream, I'm dreaming all the time, only good ideas in My mind and nothing bad, I never did bad things, My family never did and I'm asking but Why we still in need? in back home we still don't have home, still renting apt. I didn't see My sister for a long time, one of'em for 4 years, another sisters for 3 years and 1 year! My Mom for 2 years, My father 1 year. Sometimes I want to say - oh, man just f*ck this, tired from all this things, why I have to stand all this things???!!! sometimes I get jealous for people who living the simp life, job, family, kids, some little vocations, they don't have to... they don't have to worry about crazy things like I do. Crazy DREAMS about Helping to people all around the world, inspire the people, travel, change something in this world for good. Sometimes its really crazy, I feel bad. Why all the time I have to think about it and strive for that? why I can't live simp?! I guess it' not My style.
I don't know what is in Me, but this dreams and some certain thing in Me makes Me be sure for things what I do. We all asking hundreds, millions and billions questions all the time but, always get one answer - Don't know!
and I don't know how My life gonna treat Me, but I'm pretty sure I have only two ways in this Life, I'm gonna be Millionaire even Billionaire and help some people and make some changes in this world at least little OR My life gonna be tragedy and as always who knows? here' only one person knows it, Not Allah, Not Jesus, not Evil only we know what happens with us and what next step we have to do. always we have to know our next step and we decide what we should do to get success or backward.I decided already, I have to make decision by Myself, no matter how hard is gonna be but, I'll do whatever I wanna do then just sitting and guessing whole your life and than say or I made mistake, I had to do that thang, but for that time gonna be late and only thang what you can do is just die, it's not Me... no! one day at time I'll get all answers to My questions :)
I guess that' it for today...
I don't know what is in Me, but this dreams and some certain thing in Me makes Me be sure for things what I do. We all asking hundreds, millions and billions questions all the time but, always get one answer - Don't know!
and I don't know how My life gonna treat Me, but I'm pretty sure I have only two ways in this Life, I'm gonna be Millionaire even Billionaire and help some people and make some changes in this world at least little OR My life gonna be tragedy and as always who knows? here' only one person knows it, Not Allah, Not Jesus, not Evil only we know what happens with us and what next step we have to do. always we have to know our next step and we decide what we should do to get success or backward.I decided already, I have to make decision by Myself, no matter how hard is gonna be but, I'll do whatever I wanna do then just sitting and guessing whole your life and than say or I made mistake, I had to do that thang, but for that time gonna be late and only thang what you can do is just die, it's not Me... no! one day at time I'll get all answers to My questions :)
I guess that' it for today...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Where's the exit?
Wow! I don't know how to start, ermmm...
you know I'm at deadlock, I'm out of My apartment!
We're all moving out from this apartment and I separated from other two guys (I had a reason) I was looking for a room but I couldn't find it, so I called to other friends to ask'em can I stay with'em or not, guess what? they said no! sh*t, who knew they'll say like that? from one country and it was maximum for one week. I understand them but, they could do it, like you know I needed place to sleep only! oh man, don't know what to do now, damn! can't believe that I'm homeless now, 5, 000 miles from My homeland and alone, sh*t! don't know what to do... at home nobody knows about it.
how could it be? oh man, now I'm packing My bag... anyway, gonna find some way, I'm not ready to lose Myself now, gotta move on, I guess it happens to everyone.
I guess every great start begins with hard times ;)
hehe don't know what to do laugh or cry, If I'll cry it shows My weakness and I don't really want to cry! if I'll laugh seems like I'm crazy :D
alright will see ...
you know I'm at deadlock, I'm out of My apartment!
We're all moving out from this apartment and I separated from other two guys (I had a reason) I was looking for a room but I couldn't find it, so I called to other friends to ask'em can I stay with'em or not, guess what? they said no! sh*t, who knew they'll say like that? from one country and it was maximum for one week. I understand them but, they could do it, like you know I needed place to sleep only! oh man, don't know what to do now, damn! can't believe that I'm homeless now, 5, 000 miles from My homeland and alone, sh*t! don't know what to do... at home nobody knows about it.
how could it be? oh man, now I'm packing My bag... anyway, gonna find some way, I'm not ready to lose Myself now, gotta move on, I guess it happens to everyone.
I guess every great start begins with hard times ;)
hehe don't know what to do laugh or cry, If I'll cry it shows My weakness and I don't really want to cry! if I'll laugh seems like I'm crazy :D
alright will see ...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Life's secrets
Hi everyone,
Watch this video 1st
well,I want to write about this Life, how can I say? strange Life? Beautiful Life? Life's suck? just Live the Life? let the destiny decide your Life? we're all using this sentences every time when we have hard times, when we have happy times in our Life, when we're going up, when we're down, always. it says "do one thing that scares you" it is really beautiful words and I really want to do that, but not always I can muster up My courages, I know and I feel I have strength of youth, but at the same time I feel that this power is fading day by day, I want to find out how I can use it, but I'm afraid that I will find out about it too late...
even now I'm looked at My pictures of the past and I said "damn! that time I was full of energy and more ambitions than I do now" I was striving for success, but where I made mistake that I'm losing all of it? may be friends? may be because of'em? as in video says "friends come and go" Truth not always sweet.I had lot of friends, but I see they're all changing, and it is really hard when they forgetting the past, seems like we were playing yesterday on our hood and were saying you're My best friend and today we're all adult, and we don't talk much as we used to do it before. Most of My friends gone, they're not like they were yesterday. yeah, WE have to CHANGE, but as we can't change our past and can't bring it back we gotta keep it, keep it in our MIND! and have a nostalgia, so one day at time we're all can take a sit and laugh.
so now I'm trying to do something, but sometimes I feel like I'm too idealistic. I don't know what I'm doing but feels like I'm on right way. I do know what I want, but I don't know how to start, I guess this is BIG problem in our LIFE. day by day it's getting harder, because few things left to invent, seems like soon people's imagination gonna run out. So competition getting harder too.
Am I right by saying people' imagination going to run out? who knows how rich are we with our imagination... there' no limit I guess, but we're all guessing what happen with us when we die, heaven? hell? resurrection? whatever! I don't really care about it, cuz I'm living now! at this video words are so beautiful, I wanna live like that, but it is really hard...
People will read the beauty magazines, friends will always come and go, we can make step back from our goal because some things scares us, sometimes one little thing can change completely everything! it can decide where we gonna be,
1)rich and happy?
2)poor and unhappy?
3)rich but unhappy?
4)poor but happy?
As we see, we are all have choice! you choose where you gonna be! I know we are all (almost )choose 1st, but this one is really hard and not everybody gonna be there...
it can be ONLY person who was born in rich family or person who is really strong!(from average family or poor family) it is really hard to make it, but it is possible. now I'm living here in US and seeing lot of things, students from My country and other countries struggling for good life, but I can see some of'em already made their choice... they just want to work and have a family and live the life... some of people wanna build their own life, make b-ness (not to work for somebody) travel and discover the life, wanna get everything in this life but, there' few of'em and even fewer of'em can do it... so real life is much harder, and it is really hard to make it in real life, but I still hope and still doing My things so one day I can do whatever I want and reach what I wanted to. But for right now I'm afraid, I'm just wasting My time.I want to realize My dreams into real life hope it works. You're the HOST. Believe to God, but don't hope that God makes your life, God makes for you in this life 2 important things, they're : He gave you already Life, and He'll take it from you one day, so for right now you're host and you decide what to do with this life, God gives you HOPE, but not a money or some financial support... do your own thing!
And this video I really like it and hope I... We can do it...
Watch this video 1st
well,I want to write about this Life, how can I say? strange Life? Beautiful Life? Life's suck? just Live the Life? let the destiny decide your Life? we're all using this sentences every time when we have hard times, when we have happy times in our Life, when we're going up, when we're down, always. it says "do one thing that scares you" it is really beautiful words and I really want to do that, but not always I can muster up My courages, I know and I feel I have strength of youth, but at the same time I feel that this power is fading day by day, I want to find out how I can use it, but I'm afraid that I will find out about it too late...
even now I'm looked at My pictures of the past and I said "damn! that time I was full of energy and more ambitions than I do now" I was striving for success, but where I made mistake that I'm losing all of it? may be friends? may be because of'em? as in video says "friends come and go" Truth not always sweet.I had lot of friends, but I see they're all changing, and it is really hard when they forgetting the past, seems like we were playing yesterday on our hood and were saying you're My best friend and today we're all adult, and we don't talk much as we used to do it before. Most of My friends gone, they're not like they were yesterday. yeah, WE have to CHANGE, but as we can't change our past and can't bring it back we gotta keep it, keep it in our MIND! and have a nostalgia, so one day at time we're all can take a sit and laugh.
so now I'm trying to do something, but sometimes I feel like I'm too idealistic. I don't know what I'm doing but feels like I'm on right way. I do know what I want, but I don't know how to start, I guess this is BIG problem in our LIFE. day by day it's getting harder, because few things left to invent, seems like soon people's imagination gonna run out. So competition getting harder too.
Am I right by saying people' imagination going to run out? who knows how rich are we with our imagination... there' no limit I guess, but we're all guessing what happen with us when we die, heaven? hell? resurrection? whatever! I don't really care about it, cuz I'm living now! at this video words are so beautiful, I wanna live like that, but it is really hard...
People will read the beauty magazines, friends will always come and go, we can make step back from our goal because some things scares us, sometimes one little thing can change completely everything! it can decide where we gonna be,
1)rich and happy?
2)poor and unhappy?
3)rich but unhappy?
4)poor but happy?
As we see, we are all have choice! you choose where you gonna be! I know we are all (almost )choose 1st, but this one is really hard and not everybody gonna be there...
it can be ONLY person who was born in rich family or person who is really strong!(from average family or poor family) it is really hard to make it, but it is possible. now I'm living here in US and seeing lot of things, students from My country and other countries struggling for good life, but I can see some of'em already made their choice... they just want to work and have a family and live the life... some of people wanna build their own life, make b-ness (not to work for somebody) travel and discover the life, wanna get everything in this life but, there' few of'em and even fewer of'em can do it... so real life is much harder, and it is really hard to make it in real life, but I still hope and still doing My things so one day I can do whatever I want and reach what I wanted to. But for right now I'm afraid, I'm just wasting My time.I want to realize My dreams into real life hope it works. You're the HOST. Believe to God, but don't hope that God makes your life, God makes for you in this life 2 important things, they're : He gave you already Life, and He'll take it from you one day, so for right now you're host and you decide what to do with this life, God gives you HOPE, but not a money or some financial support... do your own thing!
And this video I really like it and hope I... We can do it...
Все будет! ;)
Вот, сейчас пришел домой с работы, на улице дождь и думаю сегодня буду дома целый день...
куда нибудь сходить как то не хочется или просто лень
последний раз когда писал, настро не было, т.к. новый семестр начинался и надо было много дел закончить, экзамены, деньги за учебу и квартиру ищу чтоб переехать... короче много проблем было, но день за днем все проходит... за учебу оплатил, работу вторую нашел, учеба будет теперь только по понедельникам и вторникам, экзамены сдал на ХОРОШО, главное нет 3 или 2 :)
будет думаю трудно конечно работать с 7 утра до 10-11 часов вечера но ничего, пробьемся как нибудь ведь КЫРГЫЗ же :) и невозможное возможно. Вот научился теперь все делать сразу и проходить трудности спокойно... говорю "и это пройдет".
научился как сразу все делать, если дела есть то надо с утра вставать и начинать пока есть силы, надо из дома выйти до 10-11 часов утра а то после этого синдром "ЛЕНь" начнется :) не надо боятсья что нибудь начинать, если не получится значит попробуй что нибудь
другое по люболму получаешь опыт, а то что не получилось обязательно получется следующий раз. как говорится "кто не рискует, тот не пьет шампанское" так что все будет, а что не будет значит уже было... ;)
P.S. и квартира будет ;)
куда нибудь сходить как то не хочется или просто лень
последний раз когда писал, настро не было, т.к. новый семестр начинался и надо было много дел закончить, экзамены, деньги за учебу и квартиру ищу чтоб переехать... короче много проблем было, но день за днем все проходит... за учебу оплатил, работу вторую нашел, учеба будет теперь только по понедельникам и вторникам, экзамены сдал на ХОРОШО, главное нет 3 или 2 :)
будет думаю трудно конечно работать с 7 утра до 10-11 часов вечера но ничего, пробьемся как нибудь ведь КЫРГЫЗ же :) и невозможное возможно. Вот научился теперь все делать сразу и проходить трудности спокойно... говорю "и это пройдет".
научился как сразу все делать, если дела есть то надо с утра вставать и начинать пока есть силы, надо из дома выйти до 10-11 часов утра а то после этого синдром "ЛЕНь" начнется :) не надо боятсья что нибудь начинать, если не получится значит попробуй что нибудь
другое по люболму получаешь опыт, а то что не получилось обязательно получется следующий раз. как говорится "кто не рискует, тот не пьет шампанское" так что все будет, а что не будет значит уже было... ;)
P.S. и квартира будет ;)
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